Recent ‘Bigfoot Sightings’ Turn Out to Be Social Distancing PSA

Recent ‘Bigfoot Sightings’ Turn Out to Be Social Distancing PSA

By Rob Schwarz

Some Bigfoot evidence is just too good to be true.

A seemingly great batch appeared in Oklahoma on March 30, 2020, when the Tulsa River Parks Authority shared a group of images on their Turkey Mountain Urban Wilderness Area Facebook page.

“Over the weekend, we received dozens of calls and messages reporting a ‘sighting’ at Turkey,” they wrote. “While we investigate the matter, this seems like a good time for us to remind you that social distancing of 6ft is required when at Turkey Mountain.”

Hey, if anyone’s good at social distancing, you know it’s Bigfoot.

A follow-up post on April 1 contained a very official ‘Public Response Memorandum’ titled Sightings of a large unidentified mammal at Turkey Mountain. In it, the River Parks Authority acknowledged a series of reported sightings of what locals had apparently dubbed the “Social Distance Sasquatch.”

They also included a number of suspiciously clear images taken in broad daylight, showing off a light-brown hairy humanoid loitering in the wilderness.

“We have looked into the matter and find no credible information to affirm the appearance of a ‘Bigfoot’ at Turkey Mountain. We consulted Katie Gillies, a certified Wildlife Biologist who confirms our suspicions that there is no evidence to support the existence of a ‘Bigfoot.’

The numerous social media posts, phone calls, and emails to our office from the last weekend as well as more recent ‘sightings’ on Monday and Tuesday are at the current time unexplainable by River Parks, but we feel confident the truth of the matter will eventually come to light.”

Well, come to light it did. Where so many had tried and failed, KTUL ABC 8 was miraculously able to track down this mysterious and elusive Sasquatch.

Unfortunately, it just turned out to be some guy — that is, Ryan Howell, who wore a Bigfoot costume as part of a Tulsa River Parks viral campaign to remind everyone to practice social distancing while out on the trails.

 

I suppose that’s one way to capture everyone’s attention.

If you’d  like to check out more Bigfoot miscellany, head over to this year’s ongoing list of news and sightings.

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