Dear Google, Can I Kill An Illegal Immigrant?

Ty Dalton Vaughn’s masterclass in self-incrimination proves that sometimes, the biggest crime is forgetting how the internet—and basic logic—works.

I’ve never majored in law or criminal justice, but if they have a class for “How To Incriminate Yourself 101” this story might just make the required curriculum soon.

It’s a “learn at your own pace” curriculum.

31-year-old Ty Dalton Vaughn has been charged with the murder of his fiancé, Luis Banos, after investigators stumbled upon some truly disturbing (and bafflingly stupid) internet searches. Shortly before Luis’ death, Ty reportedly took to Google to ask, “Can I kill an illegal human?” because he needed a search engine to tell him murder was wrong. I hear ya, Ty – sometimes I have to ask my Amazon Echo if it’s okay to murder the in-laws when they visit for Christmas. I keep asking every year hoping for a different answer. But back to Ty…

The incident took place in the early morning hours of January 14th, 2025, when Ty made a panicked 911 call at 5:38AM declaring, “My spouse is dead. Help. My life is over.”

This would turn out to be the most honest thing he would say for the next few weeks.

According to Ty’s initial story, he had arrived home drunk at 5:30AM only to find his fiancé dead. However, there was one tiny problem with his story – security footage showed he actually returned home at 4:05AM – an hour and a half earlier than he claimed. So that’s two strikes against him:

1) Using Google to research your potential crime

2) Forgetting you have security cameras in the area in which you live.

Neighbors also reported hearing a gunshot shortly after Ty’s actual return, throwing strike three at his already wobbly alibi, because…

3) Not realizing that sound travels.

But Ty, committed to his story (or to be labeled the world’s most incompetent killer), tried to create a post-mortem texting trail for an alibi. At 4:27AM – after his fiance’, Luis was likely already dead – Ty sent a message that read, “Babe? Babe why are you not texting back?!?!” A valiant effort, Ty, but unfortunately, computer forensics exists. If you don’t believe me, Google it. They can actually tell that your text came not only from your phone – but also from the location of your phone. Your house. (Then again, my wife and I text back and forth all of the time – and she’s down in the basement doing laundry. So I guess I can’t give Ty too hard a time for this circumstantial evidence.)

When police arrived, they found Luis Banos lying on the bed with a rifle propped against his arm, a bullet through the head, a torn-up photo of the he and Ty as a couple nearby, and… wait for it… Ty’s fingerprints all over the scene! But, this was Ty’s house as well as Luis’, so I guess we can’t really put too much weight into that circumstantial evidence either. I mean, it’s not like Ty left his fingerprints on the torn picture or the rifle.

Oh. Well, crap, Ty. I guess that’s, what… strike – four? Is that what we’re up to now? Sheesh, dude.

Despite his best attempt at staging a dramatic suicide scene, investigators quickly noticed things weren’t quite right – like bloodstains in places where they shouldn’t be: on the wrong side of the bed from where the body was found, for example.

I’m not counting strikes anymore, we already know Ty is doomed.

Ty is so good at getting strikes, I can see him on the prison softball team.

If you don’t think he’d buried himself deep enough already… during the police interviews, Ty decided to bring up his dead finance’s immigration status. Multiple times. Completely unprompted. Because he obviously wanted to ensure detectives were taking notes on his potential motive. “I’m not saying that I killed him, but even if I had, he was an illegal immigrant, so… you know. Not that I’m admitting anything… but he wasn’t a citizen anyway, so…”

After what we can only assume was seven weeks of police officers lacking sufficient oxygen due to laughing hysterically, thus not being able to go out and arrest the guy (yes, they took seven weeks to finally act) Ty was officially arrested. On March 7th, 2025 he was charged by the Harris County District Attorney’s Office. His bond was set at $500,000. Maybe he can call his fiancé’ to bail him out of jail… oh… wait… Well, that sucks for you, Ty. Maybe you can Google a bail bondsman willing to take a chance on ya. Good luck with that.

In a pre-arrest TV interview with ABC13, Ty gave a masterclass in dodging questions while also sounding deeply suspicious. (After prison he could become a politician!) When asked if he had spoken to Luis Banos on the day of the murder, he replied, “I don’t know. The police know all the details… I don’t know. I’ve been kind of not great.”

We’re going to take that as a yes, Ty.

When offered condolences, he simply stated, “I mean, it is what it is.” And with that, he cemented his place in the upcoming legal textbook, ‘Worst Responses Ever Given in a Murder Investigation.’

Now Ty is left to sit in jail, reflecting on his poor life choices and, possibly, Googling “How to get a good lawyer if you are guilty of a crime.”

The lesson? The internet never forgets, and law enforcement is familiar with how computers work. So for all of you future criminals: maybe don’t Google your crimes before committing them. Or at least use a computer at the library or something. Assuming they don’t have security cameras. You know what, never mind, scratch all that – just don’t do the crime, it’ll be easier for everyone that way.

(Source: All That’s Interesting)