LOUISIANA CHEMTRAILS, PART DEUX: The Chemtrails Conspiracy Goes National

Remember last week when I told you about Louisiana declaring war on water vapor? Well, it turns out they weren’t crazy pioneers — they were just joining a club of eight states that have decided airplane condensation trails are a government conspiracy more dangerous than di-hydrogen monoxide itself.

Listen to “LOUISIANA CHEMTRAILS, PART DEUX: The Chemtrails Conspiracy Goes National” on Spreaker.

Remember when I told you last week about Louisiana’s heroic battle against water vapor? Well, buckle up, because what I thought was an isolated case of legislative lunacy has apparently gone viral faster than a TikTok dance involving a cat and a rubber chicken.

It turns out Louisiana wasn’t pioneering new frontiers in anti-physics legislation — they were just jumping on a bandwagon that already had eight other states aboard, all waging war against the terrifying menace of airplane condensation trails. And I’ll take a brief moment here to issue my apology to you for not catching this craziness earlier when these other states were already tackling this tomfoolery.

The Chemtrail Conspiracy Spreads Its Wings

Just like I predicted in my previous coverage of Louisiana’s assault on basic thermodynamics, this movement has metastasized. Florida, Tennessee, and six other states have now introduced what experts are calling “chemtrail-coded legislation” — which sounds like something you’d need to decrypt with a decoder ring from a cereal box.

These bills all target “geo-engineering” and “weather modification,” which is apparently politician-speak for “those scary white lines in the sky that definitely aren’t just water vapor, no matter what those so-called ‘scientists’ with their fancy ‘degrees’ keep telling us.”

Remember when I mentioned that 58 Louisiana legislators looked at water vapor and declared “This aggression will not stand”? Well, it seems they weren’t alone in their battle against H2O in aerosol form. This is like discovering your weird uncle who collects vintage spoons isn’t the only one — there’s actually an entire convention of vintage spoon collectors, and they’ve formed a political action committee.

The DHMO Connection Gets Scarier

You know what’s really terrifying? In my previous article, I warned you about di-hydrogen monoxide — that colorless, odorless killer that’s found in tumors of terminal cancer patients and causes thousands of deaths annually through accidental inhalation. Well, guess what chemtrails are primarily composed of? That’s right: DHMO in vapor form.

So these legislators aren’t just fighting regular old water vapor — they’re battling weaponized DHMO being dispersed at 35,000 feet! This makes it approximately 35,000 times more dangerous than ground-level DHMO, according to math I just made up but sounds convincing enough for a legislative hearing.

The really scary part? A 2016 study found that 10% of Americans believe chemtrails are “completely true,” while another 20-30% think they’re “somewhat true.” That means roughly 100 million Americans are now aware of the DHMO aerial threat. These aren’t just the people who think birds aren’t real (though there’s probably some overlap in that Venn diagram). And another insane statistic that I just made up… 95% of elected government officials don’t know that DHMO is actually just another term for good ole, plain, out of the faucet water. But hey, if it’s in the sky making white tic-tac-toe lines, we need to ban it.

The Conspiracy Gets High-Level Support

Here’s where things get really disturbing. This isn’t just random state legislators anymore — we’re talking about people with actual power. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. posted on social media that “we are going to stop this crime,” presumably referring to the ongoing atmospheric distribution of DHMO by commercial aviation.

Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene claimed that “they can control the weather,” which technically isn’t wrong — if by “they” she means “hot jet engines meeting cold air,” and by “control the weather” she means “create small, temporary clouds that dissipate naturally.”

This is like my prediction about the “Birds Aren’t Real Act” coming true, except instead of requiring pigeons to register as government surveillance drones, we’re getting actual elected officials declaring war on the water cycle.

The Government Cover-Up Continues

Just like with DHMO, federal agencies are suspiciously quick to dismiss these concerns. The Environmental Protection Agency claims airplane exhaust vapor “poses no risk to weather patterns.” The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has “publicly denied conducting weather modification experiments.”

But here’s what’s really suspicious: these are the same government agencies that allow companies to legally dump waste DHMO into rivers and oceans. They’re clearly in on the conspiracy, probably because they know that banning atmospheric DHMO would collapse the entire aviation industry faster than you can say “thermodynamics.”

The military connection makes it even more sinister. Remember how I mentioned that the military has built billion-dollar devices to weaponize DHMO and stockpiles tons of it through sophisticated underground distribution networks? Well, now they’re using commercial aircraft as unwitting accomplices in their atmospheric DHMO deployment program.

The Slippery Slope Becomes an Avalanche

In my Louisiana coverage, I wondered what would come next after banning water vapor. Turns out, I was thinking too small. We’re not just talking about individual state laws anymore — this is a coordinated national movement.

Eight states have now decided that the fundamental physics of combustion at high altitude represents a clear and present danger to their citizens. This is like having eight different states pass laws against gravity because they’re concerned about things falling down.

Louisiana’s bill would require their Department of Environmental Quality to record chemtrail sightings and forward complaints to the Air National Guard. I can imagine that poor Air National Guard officer’s phone calls now: “Yes, sir, we’ve got reports of suspicious DHMO vapor formation over Baton Rouge. The complainant says it’s clearly attempting to control her thoughts, though she admits her thoughts were pretty disorganized before the incident.”

But multiply that by eight states, and you’ve got hundreds of Air National Guard personnel across the country fielding calls about the government’s atmospheric DHMO distribution program.

The Real Historical Context

Here’s where the conspiracy gets its power: the government really has sprayed chemicals from aircraft before. During the Korean and Vietnam Wars, the military dropped 19 million gallons of herbicides, including Agent Orange. From 1962 to 1983, Project Stormfury released silver iodide into hurricanes to weaken them.

So when conspiracy theorists point to white trails and ask, “How do we know this isn’t another government chemical spraying program?” they’re building on real historical precedent. It’s like if someone saw me putting DHMO in my coffee and concluded I was part of a massive poisoning conspiracy, not realizing that coffee literally cannot exist without DHMO because, again, DHMO is just a fancy scientificy way to say “water.”

The difference is that Agent Orange was an actual chemical weapon, while contrails are just what happens when you burn jet fuel in cold air. It’s the difference between intentionally poisoning people and accidentally creating clouds.

The Siege Mentality

Professor Timothy Tangherlini from Berkeley calls this cross-pollination of conspiracy theories “the wall of crazy.” Chemtrail fears connect with vaccine hesitancy, election fraud claims, and other fringe beliefs to create what he describes as a “siege mentality.”

This is exactly what I warned about with DHMO. Once people become suspicious of one common substance, that suspicion spreads to everything. When believers call the FAA for help with chemtrails, they decide the FAA must be part of the conspiracy. When doctors disagree with their fears, medical professionals become suspect too.

It’s like discovering that your paranoia about DHMO contamination leads you to distrust everyone who drinks water, uses ice cubes, or takes showers. Pretty soon, you’re suspicious of anyone who’s more than 60% water by body weight — which, unfortunately, includes all humans.

The Economic Implications

If eight states actually succeed in banning contrail formation, we’re looking at the accidental elimination of commercial aviation across significant portions of the United States. Airlines can’t just turn off the water vapor production — it’s literally impossible to burn jet fuel without creating DHMO vapor as a byproduct.

This would create the first DHMO-free flight zones in aviation history, making these states accessible only by ground transportation or booking a seat on the back of a superhero. Tourism slogans would need updating: “Florida: Come for Disney World, Stay Because Your Return Flight Was Rerouted to Georgia Due to Our Anti-Water-Vapor Statutes!”

The irony is that these same states would still allow cars, which also produce DHMO vapor from their exhaust systems. So they’d be banning high-altitude DHMO production while permitting ground-level DHMO emissions. So… they would be concerned about aerial water vapor while ignoring the fact that it also comes out of every tailpipe, every breath you take, and every cup of coffee you drink.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Eight states have now joined Louisiana’s crusade against atmospheric moisture. The question isn’t whether this movement will grow — it’s how many states will eventually pass laws against basic physics before someone points out that they’re essentially legislating against the water cycle.

We’ve gone from one state’s quirky battle with thermodynamics to a nationwide movement against DHMO in vapor form. At this rate, we’ll soon need a Department of Atmospheric Water Vapor Regulation, complete with inspectors armed with hygrometers and a mandate to arrest clouds for unlicensed moisture distribution.

The really scary part? This makes my DHMO warnings from last week… look conservative. I was worried about people panicking over water in liquid form. These legislators have taken it to the next level by declaring war on water in gas form.

If you thought the DHMO conspiracy was frightening, just wait until these same legislators discover that DHMO also exists as a solid — commonly called “ice” — which has been responsible for sinking ships, causing car accidents, and making sidewalks dangerously slippery. Ice is basically weaponized DHMO in crystalline form.

But hey, at least now we know that when I warned about the government’s underground DHMO distribution network, I was actually underestimating the threat. They’re not just distributing it underground — they’re spraying it from the sky using commercial aircraft as unwitting accomplices.

The next time someone tries to tell you that those white lines behind airplanes are just harmless water vapor, remind them that “harmless water vapor” is just another name for airborne DHMO. And if you can’t pronounce DHMO, that should be your first clue that it’s dangerous.

At least the Coalition to Ban DHMO in Santa Cruz, California, is probably feeling pretty vindicated right about now. They were ahead of their time in recognizing the DHMO threat. Who knows? Maybe they’ll be the ones to finally protect us from this atmospheric menace.

Just remember: DHMO is odorless, tasteless, and colorless. It could be anywhere. In fact, it probably is. Including in those scary white lines behind airplanes that eight states have now decided represent a clear and present danger to American democracy.

The war on water vapor has begun. Choose your side wisely.

STORY SOURCE: The Guardian

NOTE: Some of this content may have been created with assistance from AI tools, but it has been reviewed, edited, narrated, produced, and approved by Darren Marlar, creator and host of Weird Darkness — who, despite popular conspiracy theories, is NOT an AI voice. (AI Policy)