“CAN GHOSTS DIE?”
#MindOfMarlar is written by Darren Marlar, host of Weird Darkness
Do ghosts live forever? Sounds like a weird question, I get it. I mean, we’re talking about spirits here—like, people who already checked out but forgot to tell the afterlife about it. So, can a spirit from the dead, you know… die… again? Turns out, some paranormal pros think… maybe.
One of these ghostly theorists is Brian Sterling-Vete, a seasoned supernatural buff who’s obviously spent way too many sleepless nights staring at the ceiling wondering about stuff – and then doing some science-y stuff to analyze his nocturnal nonsensical notions.
Brian’s big discovery? Famous ghosts are calling in sick more often (or whatever excuse a phantom would use to get out of showing up at work to spook people), especially the ghosts that have been haunting the same spots for a century or more.
He said, “When we crunched the numbers, I had to sit down. It was wild to think that some of our most iconic ghosts could be, well, ghosting us permanently. Famous apparitions aren’t popping up as often, and a few haven’t been seen in years. It’s like they’re on an eternal vacation… or worse, retiring.”
Which makes you wonder – most ghosts are stuck at the residence they haunt, they can’t go anywhere else; so wouldn’t their “vacation” be more like a “staycation”? Just vegging in front of the TV instead of throwing objects or hiding your keys, or walking around wearing your sheets over their heads?
Brian thinks ghosts follow the second law of thermodynamics, which, for the rest of us, basically means energy runs out. “Ghosts, like old batteries, seem to lose juice over time,” he said. “They’re not getting any younger, after all.”
Of course, let’s not forget: science isn’t even sure ghosts exist. So scientifically proving they’re going through a mid-afterlife crisis is, at the bare minimum, tricky. But what if ghosts do exist—and can run out of spirit-spark? When they ‘die’ again, where do they go? Is there a life after death after death where, in the dimension ghosts live in, they too can have a home that’s haunted by a ghost who died… again? How far down does that residual Russian nesting doll go? Is there such a thing as paranormal purgatory? Is there a revenant retirement home where the undead sit around playing paranormal parcheesi while complaining that their recently undead kids and grandkids never come to visit? “My grandson has been dead for twelve years now and he hasn’t so much as sent me a happy-death-day card! These new deadheads have no respect for us aged apparitions!”
The questions just keep piling up. Maybe it’s time we pay more attention to supposedly haunted locations and if we don’t experience anything there, call an afterlife caseworker to report a possible missing manifestation or contact a “freelance bio-exorcist” to request a will-o-the-wisp wellness check.
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