NAKED MEAT MARKET ROBBERY: Police Found His Underwear, His Knife, and a Dollar Bill
A 25-year-old Lake City man allegedly proved that you don’t need pockets to pull off a robbery — just a face covering, a weapon, and zero shame – along with zero clothes.
The Nude Bandit of BJ’s Meat Market
Some crimes are meticulously planned. Others are crimes of passion. And then there’s the kind that makes you wonder if the perpetrator lost a bet, took a very wrong turn on the way to a nudist colony, or simply decided that pants were an unnecessary complication in the commission of armed robbery. In late December 2025, a small meat market in northern Florida became the site of what has to be one of the most logistically confusing heists in the Sunshine State’s already colorful criminal history.
8:50 P.M. in Lake City
On the evening of December 23, 2025, employees at BJ’s Meat Market — located at 837 NW Main Boulevard in Lake City, Florida — called police to report an armed robbery. What they described when officers arrived must have required several repetitions to confirm. A man had entered the store. He was carrying what appeared to be a weapon wrapped in cloth. He broke into the cash box, snatched more than $1,000, and fled into the night.
Oh, and one other detail: he was completely naked.
Well, almost completely. He was wearing a mask. Because identity protection matters, even when nothing else is protected.
Lake City is the county seat of Columbia County in north-central Florida. The town has a population of about 12,400 and is known as “The Gateway to Florida” due to its location at the junction of Interstates 75 and 10. The town has seen a lot in its nearly 200-year history — Spanish expeditions, Seminole conflicts, the only major Civil War battle fought in Florida — but a stark-naked man robbing a butcher shop at nearly 9 p.m. two days before Christmas is probably new.
BJ’s Meat Market (and no – I’m not going to make a BJ joke, it’s not that kind of story), formerly known as Scaff’s Market, is exactly what the name suggests: a local butcher shop. The employees that night presumably expected to deal with last-minute holiday meat orders – not deal with some guy’s meat staring them in the face while demanding money. (Okay, so I came close to the BJ joke.)
The Great Pantless Escape
The robbery itself was brief – despite the robber having no briefs. More than a thousand dollars, grabbed and gone. This raises a question in my mind though: where exactly do you put that kind of cash when you’re not wearing pants?
Or a shirt. Or anything at all besides a face covering.
The answer, as investigators would soon discover, is “you carry it and hope for the best.” The suspect fled on foot, which is perhaps the only sensible choice when you’ve committed to the no-clothing approach — after all, getaway cars have upholstery, and some surfaces are just not meant for prolonged skin contact… that Florida heat would have you sticking to the leather, unable to escape the car when the cops catch up to you.
Lake City police officers responded quickly and coordinated with the Columbia County Sheriff’s Office to establish a perimeter around the area. A description of the suspect and his direction of travel were broadcast to units in the field, though one imagines that particular description was brief and memorable: “Suspect is male, approximately twenty-something, no clothing, running north.”
The Trail of Evidence
Following the suspect’s presumed escape route, officers began finding items that told a story — the kind of story that makes crime scene investigators earn their paychecks in unexpected ways – and probably get a nice chuckle to boot.
First, there was a dollar bill on the steps of a nearby house. Apparently, the naked bandit had some difficulty keeping track of his haul. Then, on a porch, police discovered a pair of blue underwear. This suggests one of two scenarios: either the suspect stripped off his clothes before entering the store as part of some elaborate (and deeply flawed) disguise strategy, or he shed them during his escape in a reverse-fugitive maneuver. Either way, somewhere between the meat market and his apprehension, this man made the conscious choice that underwear was slowing him down.
Police also found a knife hidden behind a metal box, which likely explained the cloth-wrapped object employees had believed was a weapon. Additional clothing items and other property connected to the incident were recovered along the route.
The evidence trail was less a breadcrumb path and more of a strip-poker losing streak documented in real-time across several city blocks.
Apprehension and Aftermath
The suspect, identified as Kobe Latrey Watkins, age 25, of Lake City, was quickly located and detained by officers. Watkins was taken into custody without incident — which makes sense… it’s not like you have to worry about him pulling out a hidden weapon.
Watkins was transported to a local hospital for a medical evaluation. This is standard procedure in many arrests, but in cases involving someone who recently ran through a Florida neighborhood in December wearing only a face covering, it seems particularly warranted. After the evaluation, he was booked into the Columbia County Detention Center.
The charges against Watkins read like a multiple-choice test where someone selected “all of the above”: armed robbery, exposure of sexual organs, grand theft, and criminal mischief. The first charge relates to the weapon. The second charge relates to the everything-else-he-was-showing. Grand theft covers the thousand-plus dollars. Criminal mischief likely covers the damage to the cash box.
No one was injured during the robbery – at least not physically, which counts as one of the few unambiguously positive aspects of the entire incident. I’m guessing psychologic damage though – the butcher shop employees might need a bit of mental health counseling and hypnotic memory-wiping to move on with their lives.
Official Response
Lake City Police Chief Gerald Butler released a statement calling the incident “unsettling” — a word that is doing an enormous amount of heavy lifting in this context. He praised the quick response of his officers and the assistance provided by business employees in resolving the situation safely.
The chief did not comment on whether this was the strangest robbery in Lake City’s history (we are talking Florida here), but given the circumstances, that question may answer itself.
The investigation was handled by the Lake City Police Department’s Criminal Investigation Division, who processed the scene, documented evidence, and continued follow-up investigation. One hopes they have recovered from the experience.
Context and Conclusion
Florida has developed something of a national reputation for unusual criminal behavior, to the point where “Florida Man” has become its own genre of news story. The state’s broad public records laws, known as “Sunshine Laws,” make arrest records more accessible than in other states, which contributes to the perception that Florida produces more bizarre crimes than elsewhere. Whether Florida actually has more naked meat market robberies per capita than other states is unclear, but they’re certainly better at documenting them.
Kobe Latrey Watkins is currently being held at the Columbia County Detention Center awaiting further legal proceedings. BJ’s Meat Market remained open, presumably with employees who now have a story that will win every “worst day at work” conversation for the rest of their lives.
The thousand dollars was recovered — mostly, anyway. There was that one dollar bill on somebody’s porch steps. It remains unclear whether that particular homeowner was ever notified that their property briefly served as an inadvertent cash drop during Florida’s most clothing-optional crime spree of 2025.
Hey… maybe they can return the dollar bill for a free sausage sample. (I’m not going there either.)
References
– Florida Man Arrested for Naked Armed Robbery of Meat Market While ‘Wearing Nothing But a Mask’ — Mediaite
– Naked man arrested for robbing meat market, Lake City Police say — WCJB
– Police: Man facing charges after robbing Lake City meat market in the nude — Action News Jax
– Man accused of robbing meat market while naked — WPXI
– Florida Man Accused Of Robbing Meat Market While Nude — Daily Caller
– Man (25) arrested in Florida for naked armed robbery of meat market — Crime World
– Lake City, Florida — Wikipedia
NOTE: Some of this content may have been created with assistance from AI tools, but it has been reviewed, edited, narrated, produced, and approved by Darren Marlar, creator and host of Weird Darkness — who, despite popular conspiracy theories, is NOT an AI voice.
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