“Grip Reaper Attends Funeral”
#MindOfMarlar is written by Darren Marlar, host of Weird Darkness
Your mother has, sadly, passed away – and the responsibility of planning the funeral has landed squarely on your shoulders. Sorry. So, who do you send the funeral announcements to? Family, of course… close friends… maybe people who were co-workers with your mom… some of her high school friends, perhaps… the grim reaper… church family…
Wait… go back… the Grim Reaper?
That’s got to be a typo on this list… you obviously would not invite the Angel of Death to a funeral… the person in the casket is already dead. That would be morbid – and redundant. But what if your mom specifically asked you to put the Harvester of Souls on the guest list? While this might sound like a Halloween episode of “The Office”, it’s reality for Sharon Taffs of Maldon, Essex – because this was her final wish – she wanted that cloaked skeleton skulking around her funeral – and she put that request in writing.
Sharon, 68, passed away from breast cancer in December, and her funeral on March 16th was anything but ordinary.
Her daughter, Louise Miller, shared that her mother meticulously planned every aspect of her memorial. When a friend joked about attending the funeral dressed as the Grim Reaper, complete with pointing at attendees and ominously declaring, “you’re next,” Sharon found the idea absolutely hilarious and insisted it had to happen.
“We were just fulfilling her wish,” said Ms. Miller. “She made us promise we would do it, and (our friend who suggested it) is the kind of friend that would fulfill that promise no matter what.” How does that saying go? “With friends like him, we’ll make enemies?” No, that’s not right – but it’s probably accurate in this case.
Naturally (and unfortunately), the family gave guests a heads-up about the planned joke. I say “unfortunately” because, “Coming in to mourn the loss of someone dear to you and being greeted by The Pale Rider pointing a bony finger at you would be sooooooo hilarious,” I say sarcastically. “Welcome to the funeral,” he might say. “Let me usher you to your final destination… er, uh… I mean… your seat.”
Because they were given a heads up though, a few planned attendees, planned not to be attendees. But Sharon’s daughter tried to explain to those who had questions (and boy you KNOW they had questions) that, “If you research the Grim Reaper, he transports the soul to where it’s going, so he’s not actually a bad person.”
True – but then King Kong isn’t really a bad guy either, but death still seems to follow him wherever he goes.
Despite the probable sneers and jeers from those who decided to attend anyway… and despite the screams and fainting of those who attended but had not received Sharon’s pre-Shadow of Death warning… the funeral was perfectly executed (pun intended) according to Mom’s wishes… even including a song she wanted played during the memorial service that also was non-traditional… a parody Italian Christmas song called “Dominick The Donkey.” That was a missed opportunity if you ask me – she could’ve combined death and Christmas and had them play “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.”
I like Sharon’s style though. She didn’t want people wearing black, she didn’t want any tears or mournful faces. She wanted laughter and smiles, and that’s exactly what she got – at least from those who didn’t die of fright upon seeing The Ferryman as the door greeter.
I think maybe I’ve been doing this job a bit too long – because here I am talking about this, and I’m mentally taking notes about what I’d like to do when the Lord finally takes me home one day. Why not leave everyone with a laugh and a smile? Or a heart attack if they have a weak constitution? They wouldn’t have to worry – the man in the black cloak is right there already to take care of you as you head towards your destination.
(Source: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1vlyrwr546o)
Views: 33